The imposter

By Kevin-James Fenech

Kevin is the founder and owner of JOB Search - jobsearch.mt and FENCI Consulting fenci.eu.

Have you ever felt like a fraud at work? Have you ever pretended to be something you are not? Do you sometimes convey the image that you know a lot more than you actually do?

If the answer is yes to any of these, you know what it feels like to be an imposter.

In psychology, it is referred to as the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ and it is prevalent when a person has an internalised fear (justifiably or unjustifiably) of being exposed as a ‘fraud’. I say justifiably/unjustifiably because anyone can be affected by ‘imposter syndrome’; real imposters but even ‘phoney imposters’.

I’ve seen genuinely clever/capable people feel like a fraud due to a lack of self-confidence or because they can’t handle the pressure of a new role and they illogically internalise this (perceived) insecurity and fear of being ‘found out’ a fraud, when they shouldn’t but they are helpless to these feelings.

We’ve all seen the CEO or Manager position themselves as supremely confident, master of the brief and a first-rate decision-taker but you’d be surprised the number of times it is just an act. Deep down a lot of leaders harbour self-doubts and a deep fear that they will be ‘found out’ as a fraud; and again, I emphasise, some deservedly but others completely illogically since they deserve to be where they are.

I also see it a lot in job interviews. Young confident interviewees overselling themselves and pretending to have an answer to everything.

They display classic ‘imposter’ characteristics and always get unstuck when the question is designed not to have a right or wrong answer.
You then get the modest, thoughtful but intelligent interviewee who will win you over by his careful choice of words, insightful answers and genuine humility meshed with rich competence.

The funny thing is that both types will at some stage in their career experience the imposter syndrome.

We tend to associate an imposter with someone who is fake and therefore we find it difficult to comprehend that highly successful people also feel insecure, lack confidence and self-belief, all of which lead to that destructive feeling of seeing yourself (wrongly) as a fraud.

A textbook example is the highly talented actor Tom Hanks, who I am sure you recall has won two Oscars and acted in more than 70 films. He is reported to have said:

“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’ “

The irony of it all is that the more successful you are in your career, the more likely it is for the imposter syndrome to barge into your career, uninvited and contaminate your thoughts; ‘I only got that promotion because I am the CEO’s favourite’; ‘I won the contract only because of my contacts and not because I deserve it’; or ‘My business is only a success because I was extremely lucky’. Such destructive self-doubts eat you up from the inside and potentially can derail your career.

I think this all stems from how we are socialised / educated from a young age, especially in the West. Everybody is scared to fail, so everyone pretends never to have failed.

I mean, just look at how we behave on social media; we always show the ‘perfect’ side of our life when we look the best, the happiest and the surest; but life isn’t all sunshine and flowers and sometimes we fail, we lose strength, we are scared and display a whole host of other insecurities but we don’t show that on social media, do we. To my mind this is the root of the problem.

We need to recognise and admit that the road to success is littered with challenges, some of which we struggle to overcome initially and blood, sweat and tears need to be shed before we succeed.

When we see a successful person, we are looking at the finished article and do not recognise or selectively forget how that person got there; the number of times they slipped up and picked themselves up or the failures they managed to learn from.

To fail is human nature, since we are by divine creation ‘not perfect’. The hard truth is that successful people learn from their failures and pick themselves up very quickly but they still experience failures like the rest of us. Just look at Tyson Fury.

In 2015, he won the unified WBA, IBF, WBO, heavyweight titles by defeating long-reigning boxing legend Wladimir Klitschko but a year later he fell into a depression losing the will to live and abused of alcohol and drugs.

He put on about 10 stones and looked finished. Yet he came back from this dark episode in his life and today ranks in the top three best heavy weight fighters in the world.

Fury did not hide his fall from grace and talked openly about it; not many are as honest and open.

My point is that we hide our failures when in reality we should celebrate them, understand what went wrong and learn.

The imposter syndrome can attack anyone’s mind and contaminate their thoughts; even the most successful of people. So be aware of it and if you have young aspiring mangers or children, prepare them for real life which is littered with hardship, set-backs and failures.

I think at some stage or other we all have our self-doubts, and worse, feel like a fraud (deservedly or undeservedly); the difference is how we cope and react.

This is why mental strength is so important; this is why failure is part and parcel of success; and this is why we all need to follow our dreams no matter the risk.

The imposter syndrome can affect anyone; don’t let it since it will be your ruin.

Everyone has talents and the potential to achieve their careers aspirations and when you are successful don’t let your mind play tricks with you. Since the Imposter Syndrome will attack when you least expect it; even at the peak of your success.